Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
