Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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