Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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