But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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