My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
