P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
