You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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