when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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