Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize