Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
