Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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