As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
