it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
