dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
