Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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