Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
