Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
