Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
