i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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