Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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