if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
