Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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