I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
