Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
