Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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