i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
