pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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