My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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