lets start a swedish sibling band together
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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