...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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