God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
