I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
