I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
