So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
