Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize