I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
is that a dick in a sweater?
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