I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize