if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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