mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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