Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize