The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize