But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
