Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
