Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
