dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
No subtext here. People are naked.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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