Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
