Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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