There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
