come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
