They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
