I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
