girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
