If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
