You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
