Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
