I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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