so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
