im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
