We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize